Tag: rant

Too Soon

Nelson from the Simpsons

We’ve all heard it. Somebody makes a joke that riffs off a recent occurrence, and someone else says “too soon” to cover their offense at the joke and/or shame at laughing. I’m of the opinion that “too soon” isn’t a real thing. Something is either funny right away, or it’s never funny. When a person says a joke is “too soon” what they really mean is, “I’m offended but won’t admit it.

Death to the Email Signature

Picard facepalm

I’m not going to use an email signature anymore. It’s an arcane practice that provides no real value to anyone. Let’s examine what a signature actually is. The signature is a form of identity verification, whereby the signatory validates that they are, in fact, the person they claim to be by putting pen to paper and swirling their hand around to form squiggles that they alone are the best at creating.

Fall is the Monday of Seasons

Case of the Mondays

I hate fall. It’s the worst season of the year, bar none. Never mind that my birthday is in October, or that birthdays of close friends and family are in fall, or that football is back, or that my utility bill is lower. None of that matters, because fall is still a shitty season. Let’s count the ways fall is awful. It’s the Monday of the year. I have a theory that the cycle of months and seasons throughout the year can be described by days of the week.

Ultimate First World Problems

My phone with a cracked screen

Last night I had a first-time experience: dropping my phone and the screen cracking. I was a bit in shock, and a bit pissed off. All I could think was how much it was going to cost to rectify the problem. The crack doesn’t cover the whole screen, but it’s enough to be really annoying. That’s immaterial though, as nobody wants their phone screen to crack…or so I thought. I went on Twitter to gripe about having broken it.